quote of the day . . .

"Mommy, don't you want to go to Heaven!?"

- Caleb Dittmann

Well, She's Gone!

My, my, how time flies! It seems just like yesterday when I thought to myself, "What a dreamer she is! She really thinks that she's gonna go to Hawaii!" Well, sure enough, she is a dreamer and she did go to Hawaii, but even more fantastical - She is completely in His will and exactly where she is supposed to be! We sent her off today, well more like this morning even before the buttcrack of dawn. (Boy, I'm feeling it already and Caleb was knocked out by the first 5 minutes in the car ride home. He is napping soundly in the next room.) Surprisingly, I was able to withhold the tears through the last hug. I will save them to space them out over the next 3 months! Gina, it was quite possibly the most precious thing in the world this morning when you left. Caleb was a wreck! He was so depressed when you left from the gate and then when we called my mom this morning from the Starbucks he started crying because he said, " I am just gonna miss Gina so much!" Precious! Oh my little boy! You would have melted and I know that it was through the grace of God Himself that he didn't cry at the gate because if he would have cried like he did at Starbucks, at the gate with you, Angels themselves would have had to drag you on the plane! We tried to call you to tell you that we loved you but I think it was too late. Oh well! Know that you will be missed and loved and that the letter that he wrote on the back of the picture that he gave you was straight from the heart of your beloved Caleb.

quote of the day . . .

"Caleb, you better remember or your butt will remind you when it hurts!"

- Gina Crawford

PRAISE REPORT!

The LORD above is good a mighty! I have an interview Jan. 3 at 1 p.m. Thank you for your prayer thus far and ask that you continue to be diligent and pray for God's mighty hand and favor over me as I go to knock the socks of whomever I interview with in God's awesome blessing and talent that He has given me. I appreciate your kindness so much because I know without prayer little is possible!

Merry CHRISTmas!

Last night was a late one. I had a Christmas party last night! Way fun! The guest list included Gina Crawford, Elise Mullins, Chad Trost, Jessica Wade, Chris Moss, Josiah Serra, Jamie Brown, Katie and Josh Russell, and (of course, is there a party without the infamous) Paul Taylor! If you didn't come - you missed out, God bless you next time! There was too much food, plenty of coffee, amazing fellowship, and enough blankets to go around (without sharing between the opposite sexes)! We watched Elf, played Mad Gab, had too much caffeine, and I think that everyone at least tried the elliptical machine once. But, I do have to say that the best part was the hours of Jesus conversation and fellowship until 5 a.m.! Goodness, talking about Jesus and listening to the marvelous deeds and overwhelming faithfulness of our Creator God is the most awe-inspiring (maybe Josiah will give me at least a $50 for that one, whatta say?) and spiritually invigorating (at least $100 for that one) method that I am aware of. I learned more from and of my brothers and sisters last night then in almost 4 years of attending SCCC. I realized how there is so much unbelievable power in that of sharing your testimony and just how essential it is between believers. However, thankfully, we were able to share within the safest confidence and within the correct context. Recently, I have had several conversations about “spiritual prostitution” in that some people have a hard time understanding how to guard the “fountain” of our spiritual lives and our Godly revelations, referring to Proverbs 5:15 – 18. God has shown me (kicking and screaming, might I add) about sharing too much and given me a great example (from my own life) about the proper and Godly circumstances and situations in which to share His glory with others. Psalms 34 says this, “I will extol the LORD at all times; (when . . . all the time) His praise will always be on my lips. (when . . . all the time) My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.” The gospel of Matthew speaks about believers shining the light of Christ before men, “ . . . that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven.” It is GOOD to share the faithfulness of the LORD! It is wonderful and pleases our LORD to boldly proclaim what He has done and to speak of His righteousness. However, I find that the benefit starts to run out when we cross over the boundaries that God has set before us. I have found in my own life that there are specific people in whom to share about how God is speaking with me and how God is molding and sharpening me. I thank God for my accountability everyday!
Anyways, so, I also learned lots about the phenomenal men that are a part of my circle of friends. Gina and I were commenting on just how revitalizing ($100) it was to be able to not only appreciate the God centered manly roles of our friends, but to be appreciated in the same respect and roles as women. There was a major peace and understanding over the night about who God has called us to be and how He operates within each of our gender roles. God anointed our time last night and I am grateful for God’s handiwork in these people lives. You all blessed me, dearly, with your presence and hearts last night and truly Jesus was the spotlight of Christmas!

Oh, and by the way, Caleb and I took a 2 hour, much needed, nap after the 4 hours of sleep I got, but I still hear that pillow and that huge swaddling blue comforter callin' my name . . . (Jen, oh, Jen! It's getting purdy late and I'm lookin' mighty invitin'!)

quote of the day . . .

"Humble pie is like manna . . . it's good for you!"

- Jen Dittmann (crap, more blogging on this quote later!)

sweet surrender

Today is my very last day at work. I am sitting here, right now, actually. There is nothing to be done. I have cleaned out every nook and cranny. I have organized every file that I needed. I have even turned in my key, so there is nothing left to do but sit here and blog about it. Weird how overwhelmingly peaceful I feel about it. God is so good! Just this morning I was crying with my friend about how terribly awful I feel that I wasn't able to purchase everyone all the presents that I wish that I could have. However, I just recieved a call from my ingenious friend, Gina, about precious, heartfelt, and cheap presents to give birthed out of her God-given, creative talents and I am reminded (ONCE AGAIN) just how God takes care of everything. Absolutely everything! He has quieted my soul and given my weary heart rest with His overwhelming peace that transcends all understanding. How selfish of me to be thinking about how much it pains me to want to give presents to others! I have not leaned on Jesus through this. There has been no offering! No wonder I haven't seen a job offer, God is still trying to teach me! I trust you Lord, my hope is in you alone, therefore, my hope is sure! You are good God and I am all yours! Have your way with me!

Awful, Terribly Awful

Well, I cut my hair off! Really - all gone! I cut over 5 inches off. Geeze I was unsure about it all weekend until Tuesday. This is going to be one of those blogs that only girls can appreciate, but it's my blog and I can write about whatever I want, so don't read it if you don't want to. I only had 28 minutes to take a shower, fix my hair, make my face presentable, brush my teeth, get dressed, and get in the car. And believe me, getting in the car is an actually task when you tell your 4 year old child to sit down and buckle up at least 3 times in 13 degree weather! Okay, so, I'm crunched for time and I'm sitting here like, "Crap! There is no way that I can figure out in 2 hours how this (referring to my hair) should be fixed much less in minutes out of the 28 that I have left. So, I just dove in! Curl it hair, spray that stuff there, fluff it up in the back, and BAM! Smokin' hot, if I do say so myself! Okay, so Wednesday rolls around. Now, keep in mind that I look forward to Wednesday after I leave church every Sunday. So, I'm excited to be going to church. I am planning all this food for the Youth Christmas party, so I'm gonna be doing a lot of running around and stuff like that. So, I put a little umph (this isn't really a word, necessarily, but more of a sound or great emphasis, get it?) in my hair. Oh boy, does it have some volume! I continue with my day, ya know, the usual - go drop Caleb off at the day care, go to work, pick Caleb up, run some errands, head home to finish the meal for the party, go to the grocery store, and then head for church. Well, I couldn't tell you exactly when the moment hit amist the busy schedule, but by the time that I started setting up all the party platers and the food and all the trimmings - I hated the hair! I hated it! Maybe "hate" is a strong word, but I use it here to describe the intense insecurities that I felt as a result of the hair cut. I no longer felt pretty! And, as a women, there are days that you feel really cute and days that you don't. It's my experience that usually people don't share the same views on the same days, but I felt like it was written all over me, "This is quite possibly the ugliest day that I've ever experienced, and by the way, your hair cut looks like that of a sixth grader!" At the party someone even came up to me and said that I looked like I had a "mom hair cut"! Okay, if there is a piercing with a double-edged sword that compares to none other, then this comment was the double-edged sword minus one. She meant it in all sweetness and used it as a compliment, but really it only shown light to the truth that the hair cut is the worst. The one good thing about this hidious hair cut is that it has taken some edge of the "no dating" policy going on right now. Now, even if I wanted to try to impress someone, the prospect is obsolete! At least when I did have the longer hair and I put it up all the time, I had the security of knowing that I could have it down, if I so chose to. It was kinda like a back up plan, so to speak. The option was always there. I wasn't going to look weird having my hair back, because everyone kinda expected it. It was an unexpected treat to have it down, usually a result of a random whim or extra couple minutes to get ready. But, now, no option! It's even too short to pretend that I could put it up if in case I needed to. Gosh! I got too antsy! This is one of the problems with the "all or nothing" theme in which I live my life. See, it usually gets me into trouble! So, moral of this random blog - don't run with an unexpected, random desire to chop all of your hair off, just to be spontaneous without first consulting a trusted confidant. (By the way, Elise went with me ;-) At least it doesn't look like this, I suppose . . .

My Daddy!

I wish that I had a picture of my dad to post on here just so you could see his honest smile! My dad is phenomenal! No person could argue with me that they have a better earthly father than I do. I won't believe you, not a single word that you say. My dad is so fun and full of love. He gives and gives and gives even if you were to slap him in the face, he would still do anything for you. He has the biggest heart! He is the greatest Papa ever! He was made to be a grandfather. It is such a treasure of my heart to see him and Caleb play. Don't get me wrong, they get on my nerves, too! They antagonize each other like the dickens! But, they are buddies. Caleb won't even let me call him "Buddy" because he always says, "I'm Papa's little buddy!" My dad always tells me about his favorite memory of praying with Caleb. I was going through a rough day and I asked the boys to pray for me before I headed out, so when they started to pray Dad lead first and then it was Caleb's turn. This is what he prayed, " . . . And God bless my Papa, who calls me little buddy . . ." Dad got a kick out of it and retells that story all the time! He just lights up talking about that kid. My Dad and I are so close and I am so blessed by this. We talk about Jesus all the time and we talk about what God is doing in our lives. It's amazing to be able to have that connection with your family. My family for the longest time, I thought, didn't understand my relationship with God and my desire to constantly be at church. But, this year, I have really gotten the opportunity to develop that Godly relationship with my dad and it's been awesome! Thank you Jesus for my Daddy!

Now stretch 1, 2, 3, 4 . . .

Well, God is working! Oh boy, is God working! Way back in October (gosh I can’t believe that it’s been that long) I made a commitment. It includes a lot of things, for instance, I have committed to looking to only my Jesus for everything, and I mean everything. Phil. 4:19 says, “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Isa. 58:11 says, “. . . He will satisfy your needs . . .” Therefore, I committed to living my life as though I believe with everything I am, think, do, and face that my Jesus is all I need and in Him my soul alone is satisfied! This commitment also includes things like deepening my understanding and love for God’s word, honing God’s voice and whispers in my life, building a stronger prayer life, and setting time aside for me too. I wanted to get healthy in mind, spirit, and body! I wanted to be able to prioritize my life and everything in it, instead of the other way around. I wanted to be able to read books that have been sitting on my shelf for years. I wanted to be able to go to bed early. I wanted to concentrate on my relationships with my family and friends. So, of course, this means – NO DATING! And it’s been hard, really hard, really really hard because God is definitely giving me just want I asked for. This past week alone I got into a huge-amongous fight with my dearest friends, found out that I lost my job right before Christmas, parenting at this stage of my son’s life couldn’t be more difficult, and I got a really stupid infection in my salivary glands and I wasn’t able to eat any real food for over 4 days! (Who gets infections in their salivary glands anyway? I mean, seriously, how random is that?) But, what has been ringing very clearly in my mind lately is that HARD IS GOOD! The book of James is incredible to read when you are going through a week like I had. Specifically it says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. . . The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position . . . Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” And it goes on and on, it’s probably my favorite book of the Bible. So, in the mean time of all this amazingly stretching time, I am looking to God for His tremendous direction and asking my dear friends in Christ to pray for me. I already have seen God’s work in progress. Last night I updated my resume and sent it out to one job posting. This morning, only hours later, I receive 2 phone calls asking about the resume and wanting more information about me and what I am looking for in a new job. God’s gonna open doors like crazy in my life and I am believing him for it. My trust is in you, oh Lord!
Psalm 37:1 – 7
“Do not fret because of evil mean or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; Do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Isaiah 41: 9 – 13
“You are my servant; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

quote of the day . . .

"It's not like I haven't been tryin' to graduate or anything!"
- Gina Crawford

IT'S BEEN FORRREEEVER . . .

I haven't blogged in like 9 years! How boring for people that visit! If you have visited and been thoroughly disappointed in the up-to-date-happenings in the life of Jen Dittmann, then I deeply and profoundly extend my greatest apologies. However, I doubt anyone lost sleep over it, so I will just "get over" myself! Anyway, let's see, what have you missed and what would be exciting and thrilling to read about? Hmm . . . Well, I went to Tennessee last weekend! It was incredible! We traveled afar to the Life Church to visit Dan, Paige, and precious baby Taite Lord! I wish that I had some pictures to show you . . . ;-) (GINA) However, I will post them soon. Being with them was a treasure and I will remember it always! Seeing their new lives and where God has placed them gives me such a peace about them leaving, not that I didn't have that before. But, I saw it with my own eyes that they are exactly where they belong and that God has truly taken them on a journey to prepare them for their ministry with that church. The church was ridiculously refreshing! Completely intoxicating newness overtook me during praise and worship! It was like a whole 'nother side that God opened up in my to praise Him. The church was completely "Dan-like" if that explains anything. There were young people everywhere and even the people that didn't have such young vessels, seemed to have a heart that did age. It was awesome! I miss you guys already and I can't wait to hug you again! Thank you, thank you, thank you for opening your home to us and inviting us into your world for a weekend!
Also, I heard that he did an awesome job preaching God's word this past Sunday. I haven't listened yet, but visit it if you long to be challenged (it's Dan, so without even hearing it yet, I know it's FULL of challenge!)
http://www.thelifechurch.com/r_messageDetails.php?int_id=66

Leesie!

This is my dear, dear, dearest sister in Christ! Our story is straight from the plan book of God!
We first met in Nov '04 at Casa Gallardo. I was working and her family came in! They were such a blessing to me! But, oddly God put such a craving in my spirit for a friendship with this total stranger! It was the weirdest thing, but I was so sad that she had to leave. Well, Jesus totally had his hand on our lives and our paths crossing again and they came back to visit me in Jan. This time they brought news, "Guess where we've been the past 2 Sundays?" I was amazed and it really smacked me in the face just how incredible witnessing can be. The Mullins Family had been in love with Jesus for some time, but needed a fresh beginning at a new church. I was thrilled! I probably looked like such an idiot with such wonder on my face. Anyway, Elise jumped right in the group and got her hands dirty in the VARSITY ministry. I am blessed to work with her. Not only is she ridiculously good-looking, but she is an amazing source of blessing to me! She is selfless and humble. She is full of grace and innocence! What I love most about her is that she is real! You get the real deal with her. You don't have to pretend to be something that you aren't when you are with Elise. She is so amazingly fun to hang out with and I love that I get to be a total dork with her! I tell her all the time, "I love being able to "dork-out with you!" She laughs at me, but that's okay - we laugh together! She's my girl!

Speak it BOLDLY!

Just yesterday at youth service we sang a song about the “Arms of Love” that God holds us in and I was, once again, in amazement. Just this week, my son got sick and he wanted nothing else but to be wrapped up in my lap snuggling as close to me as possible underneath a blanket. He kept asking me to lay down with him. Do you know what that’s like? I don’t think that you can even begin to imagine how incredible that feels as a parent to take care of your child! Do you understand the opposite perspective as well? When you aren't feeling well, isn't it in you to want to be taken care of? I know that still, at age 24, I can be having the worst day ever and my mom will randomly call and all of a sudden the floodgates open and I can't contain my tears! I have a friend, who shall remain nameless but you know who you are, and she's pitiful! She just recently had to go like 2 days without her mom and this would have been just fine, except she got sick while her mom was away and it was like her mom abandoned her and walked off the face of the earth! That longing to be the care giver, to be wanted, to be needed is God! The Bible tells us that God is a jealous god and longs for our affections and to be loved! He loves when we need Him and longs to wrap His arms around us. Likewise, we are in desperate need of Him. There is no solace like our God! There is no comfort like our God! He is the healer, he is the ultimate caregiver and He waits with His arms open wide! Then, on top of this whole revelation, Nick sticks it to us right in the gut! Boy, he preached it up! He did awesome! I was waiting for the people around me to be like, "Yeah, Jen, this is good. We are trying to listen, but you keep yelling at how right he is and it's really distracting!" So, if you are one of those people, but had manners enough not to say that to me (or under your breath) then I truely apologize and ask for your forgiveness. I'll buy you the CD! I'll get my own copy then too! Awesome job Nick!